T O Y S

By Simran Keshwani

WhatsApp Image 2017-04-17 at 05.16.37.jpeg

// you need new toys, he said
you don’t need me, he said

picked myself up from a rugged
and blackened red pool
of pity
and questions –
you’ll never be good enough
you’re not a good person
you’re never
you are not
you
just
not
good

put them in a box
with embers of white
with jagged screams, bold letters written atop
DO NOT OPEN
for your life’s not
somebody else’s MCQ test to ace
for your grey isn’t
somebody else’s monochrome to paint
for your struggle isn’t
somebody else’s masterpiece
to hang on a wall,
stare and
criticise
for days,
then walk away

the void he left you in,
is your sacred space to paint
do not scream,
do not search your shirts for his smell
pretty little adulteress,
you romance fire
what harm can a little boy do
to a heart that’s swallowed gasoline
and survived?

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