Relationship Advice With Sahil Thaker : Why so many divorces today? 

2016 has been a doomed year for love. We had just gotten over Hrithik Roshan & Sussane Khan’s high profile divorce, and Hrithik’s infamous affair with Kangana Ranaut only worsened his legal troubles. 

Then came the much delayed Karisma Kapoor-Sanjay Kapoor divorce with both the parties throwing a lot of stench at each other’s character. The fight for child custody is still on. 

Pulkit Samrat also opted for divorce with his wife Shweta. TV actress Rashmi Desai took to the courts with husband Nandish over a failed marriage as well. To top it all, the Ben-Jen separation was a tough one to digest for most of us. 

  
A lot of couples have separated after being live-in relationships. Virat Kohli-Anushka Sharma and Ranbir Kapoor-Katrina Kaif being much known examples. 

  
What is the reason for marriages and relationships going about? Bestselling author Sahil Thaker helps us find out. 
India is a very big and diverse country with many languages, religions, customs and traditions. Given the complexity of the country and the people that live here, there can be many reasons which could result in divorce or break up.

1. Financial issues 

  

This can include arguments over spending or saving or if one partner is perceived not having enough income or wealth compared to his peers. Pressure is especially intense on men to have high incomes and wealthy as it supposedly guarantees a comfortable life. If one falls short in this regard fights and arguments ensue.

2. Dowry

This practice is still widespread especially in poorer and backward regions of the country. Family of the girl is expected to give money and other gifts to groom’s family before and after marriage. This practice can put a lot of undue pressure on the girl and her family.

3. Cruelty/Abuse 

This often starts if the girl is perceived to have brought less than expected dowry. Many times if the couple is unable to bear children after marriage, the girl is blamed (even though it may not be her fault). This includes frequent insulting, abusive and derogatory language, beatings and such behaviors which can inflict mental, emotional and physical abuse on the person.

4. Incompatibility

  

Sometimes two people happen to be in a relationship where there is really no love nor compatibility between 2 people but somehow are together for the sake of being together. Two people might have completely different backgrounds and approaches to life and there is nothing which can really make the relationship work.

5. Excessive pressure/interference from family

  

Family pressure in India tends to be much higher than western countries. Parents are concerned about their kids and that’s normal up to a point. But excessive interference in your relationship by parents often has negative consequences. Things become even worse if one has to deal with a large joint family system. Fights between saas and bahu are what legendary Indian TV serials are made of.

6. Cheating

  

 If one of the partners has an affair or cheats then it can result in a break up or divorce.

7. Bad Habits

  

Habits such as alcoholism, drug abuse, smoking or chewing tobacco can affect one’s physical health which in turn can lead to other problems in the relationship. 

For example: A man who drinks excessive alcohol may not be able to control his behavior and ends up beating his wife.

8. Frequent arguments 

  

Various problems in a relationship often given rise to frequent and bitter arguments between the couple. Over a period of time arguments might become even more intense and can result in a break up.

It is usually one or more than one these reasons which put together can result in divorce or breakup. It will be very useful if detailed statistics are collected by the courts while granting divorce so that conclusions can be reached regarding the reasons for divorce. 

Many a times the reasons are superficial and differences can be resolved if there is good quality of counselling available and both partners are ready to compromise, then break ups and divorces might reduce in the future. 

 

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