After the end.

By Aziz Chikhly

 

Once you keep that call or get out of that discussion from where you know that it is the end now. The curtains to a new life perhaps a new point, a new place, a start after the end begins. While you stay there for quite a while, where a second seems to be longer than an hour, flowers in sight would be mere thorns, comfort would be felt in alien places, while you are left bewildered, how to take the next step with weight of your heavy grieving soul. You are at shore with your back to the desert and facing an unexplored ocean swept with dangerous tides. Encouraging words to take the leap, give birth to courageous thoughts, until a slight glimpse of the past ravages your soul.

Now an empty house, once a glare of hope fueling your life. Now a couch of abjection, once was a pool of cuddles during late night rom-coms. Now a table of loneliness, once adorned by glamour of two souls holding hands under a candle light. Now crumbling walls on a lonely soul, once decorated by pictures to remind of a beautiful life. Now a bed full of nightmares, once filled with dreams ignited by kisses of love. Now a floor full of scattered memories, once a flower bed on a cold winter valentine night.

You seek inspiration in places that you want to avoid going back to. You lie down on the floor hoping for someone you wish to forget, to pull you up. You swim in waters you cannot endure, only to swim back to the shores you so want to escape. You get ready and try to get out, only to get pulled right back in to your gloomy thoughts. You fight yourself, every time you want to throw their thought off the edge. At times you damage yourself beyond repair. You breed new habits to heal your pain. strength may come from strangest of places. you may move on to distant locations. A new life will prevail or only a hope to avail.

You rise and fall until

you breath a new life where pain

thrives behind the pretentious smiles

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