Relationship Advice : Why Do Men & Women Cheat on their Partners?

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Everyone wishes for a loving, caring, attractive and perfect spouse. However, the ground reality of finding such a spouse is very different.

Author Sahil Thaker’s debut book, “Dating & Marriage Diaries in Urban India: A No-Nonsense Guide to Finding your Perfect Partner” lays down certain facts before the reader in a simple, straightforward and a no nonsense manner. Thaker is an engineer by training and a writer by choice. He was born and raised in Mumbai and has lived in the USA for about six years. His passions include fitness, travelling, reading and trying out new cuisines.

So why do you think people cheat on their partners? What is the reason behind it? And who is more prone to cheat- men or women?

Here’s his take on Cheating.

There can be all sorts of reasons for cheating. Some people, whether men or women are promiscuous by nature and have a hard time being in a committed relationship. As seen generally, men are more likely to cheat because they feel that they could get away with it but women are fast catching up too at least in the bigger cities and even smaller towns. Let’s explore a few scenarios using fictitious names. Such scenarios are becoming common in major cities in India:
1. Ravi is a corporate finance manager in Mumbai who occasionally travels to Delhi for work. He is married to a nice woman and has a 5 year old kid. His marriage is fine but lacks excitement. At a work related conference in Delhi he meets Neha who is single and attractive. After work they hit the bar at the hotel where Ravi is staying and get drunk together. Eventually, they go to his room and spend the night together.
Reason for cheating: seeking excitement/thrill

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2.   Anita is in a loving relationship with her boyfriend Mahesh whom she desires to marry. Her parents oppose this and pressure her to get married to a guy called Ashok whom they feel is much better for her. She does not want to marry Ashok but ultimately gives into family pressures. Ashok is nowhere as loving or cares for Anita as her boyfriend Mahesh did and she continues her affair post marriage, cheating on Ashok who is now her husband.
Reason for cheating: Mental and emotional attachment to her boyfriend despite married to someone else.

3. Ajay is a successful CEO of a company in his 50s. He has everything that money can buy: nice house, cars, vacations abroad etc. He is married and has 2 grown up children who are in college. However, he is not happy. His wife is constantly involved in parties and other social activities and hardly has time for him. He too spends long hours at office. His personal secretary, Meena is a divorcee. Since they spend so much time together at work, he discusses all his problems with her, personal or professional. She also gives him a patient hearing and cares for him. Slowly they find themselves getting closer to each other and have an affair. Ajay cheats on his wife with his secretary.
Reason for cheating: Wife doesn’t have time for the husband and he finds love and companionship in arms of another woman.

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It is difficult to pin point a single reason for cheating. It usually is a combination of various factors or pent up feelings which have been building up over a period of time. Very rarely people wake up one morning and suddenly decide to cheat on their partner. However, consequences of cheating are almost always bad. Sooner or later people do get caught and all the hell breaks loose. Some of the consequences of cheating can be unwanted pregnancy, breakup/divorce, fights and arguments. It gets even worse once children and other family members come to know about it.

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